[heading]The Ledger Oligarchy: Bitcoin’s NWO[/heading]
“Trout, incidentally, had written a book about a money tree. It had twenty-dollar bills for leaves. Its flowers were government bonds. Its fruit was diamonds. It attracted human beings who killed each other around the roots and made very good fertilizer.” Slaughterhouse 5, Kurt Vonnegut
It is the year 3030. Bitcoin is dominated by few hands: The Rockefellers, the Rothschilds, the Carnegies, Warburg’s & Nakamoto, according to YouTube.
Bitcoin had been an experiment in decentralized currency. But, by 3030, it had been adopted by the banking system which had reigned before it, and forever been changed.
Before this, an intermediate dynasty, the “old guard,” had reigned for approximately 100 years: The dynasties of Andresen, Garzik, Ver & Mayer.
The abovementioned dynasty “Nakamoto” was created by splicing the genes of the so-called “old-guard.”
That happened in 3020, the year the House of Winklevoss had their BTC wallet fortune hacked by a clone of Mayer Rothschild, whom had pulled the stunt while drinking whisky and entertaining a hologram of Johnny Depp, his favorite actor.
This could be seen by the public ledger, which had since began recording via laptop data as “extra-data.”
The NSA (former US gov agency), it had been uncovered after the fall of the Great Mexican Border Wall while its offices were raided in a scene reminiscent of the Stasi offices in 1990, had actually stolen the code from Satoshi Nakamoto days before the protocol was to be released, and then released it itself and mined the genesis block. Nakamoto was devastated.
Satoshi Nakamoto had actually been hired by Ben Bernanke, a Federal Reserve (long story) President at the turn of the 21st century, who met Nakamoto at an orgy hosted by Google.
Nakamoto had covertly received bailout money during a bailout program in the US in 2008. He was high when he wrote the code and was given 49% stake in “Bitcoin” by Bernanke in the infamous communication intercepted by the NSA’s “Follow The Money” division and later leaked by the Pravda of the time, the Genesis Block.com.
Although neither Bernanke nor Nakamoto knew who had hijacked the protocol, they were early in, and Bitcoin was deliberately helped by Bernanke’s economic policies.
Over time, the block chain grew so large that few users chose to download its client on their machine.
Bitcoin wallets floating in the cloud became the preference of the usermasses: There was Wallet of America; US Wallet; Wallet Fargo; Deutsche Wallet and CitiWallet. There were a few others, but these were subsidiaries of the others.
Mining long ago had ceased to be profitable except for those who could implement it on a large scale due to indulgences in the form of charity to “The New Bitcoin Foundation,” a liberal think-tank dedicated to BTC.
There was the Federal Miner, and central miners of all nations, all members of the Federal Miner System and united under the Miner of International Settlements. The United Nation-Wallets held a bug that had been created in the US in 2020, the year before its fall and resurrection as “NAW” (North American Wallet), known as the “Wallet Kill Switch.” Nobody knew if it worked.
But, off-chain, The Resistance – the so-called “old believers” who had read on the Internet about a decentralized Bitcoin which died long ago – loosely organized.
They had their work cut out for them, for in school the users of different nation-wallets were taught normal users shouldn’t ever download the blockchain, and be using wallets and other technologies. Each morning they convened in the school auditorium and sang a song to the school’s offline wallet. The song went like:
“Ohhh, Satoshiii.” (repeat 21 times)
Why 21 times? Nobody knew why. There were, in 3030, 32 million bitcoins in existence. On the eve December 24, 3021, the protocol had been “tuned-up” as Moderators on BitcoinTalk termed it.
All the users needed were bitcoins, not clients. Bitcoins had never been so easy to procure. All one had to do was go into one of the aforementioned banks, open an account, and presto. It took a couple days for the DNA test to come back, to be sure.
But, on the cusps of the gray culture, The Resistance did what they could to mine chips they themselves manufactured. There was risk in this, of course, as jurisdictions had state vans which drove around and detected excess electricity, such as would be used for mining bitcoins, growing marijuana or drying freshly printed $100 bills (these were sold as historical artifacts for $50. They were,after all, the last paper money). They were last used 110 years ago.
Electricity, also, cost an arm and a leg, sometimes literally. One had to have “blat” as the soviets called it – connections – in order to get electricity off-grid (not through the state provider). Still raids and mass power outages undermined this effort of The Resistance.
Unknown to The Resistance: they had help. Nakamoto had gained a sense of themself, and had stealthily began coordinating to return Bitcoin to its original state.
One night he bought 14 of the most beautiful prostitutes he could find on Backpage.com, a classifieds site. When they showed up, he realized they weren’t ideal.
Still, the guards fell for it.
He had gained access to the protocol. He had already written a code, which was to return all coins stolen in the Crime Of 2018 when all Bitcoin users – except for those, of course, with access to Bitcoin Airlines – were purged. The coins were returned to their future families.
He then returned the protocol to the original 21 million coin programming, undid some other stuff, and typed a PR Web blast. The title of the Press Release?
“Chancellor Satoshi Nakamoto on brink of second end for banks”
It was dated January 3, 3031.
The Resistance understood. Nakamoto had referenced the note left in the code of the original Bitcoin protocol. Everyone knew that. In 3026 the headline had been changed to “Online wallets are safe.”
The Resistance began travelling first to their families houses, then to their neighbors. Once there they downloaded Bitcoin-QT and began showing their loved ones how to use it and care for their savings.
The online wallets pushed for a bailout, but they had essentially been bankrupted when the code went back to the original 21 million coins because most of their profits had been from the Federal Miners “philanthropy” system of automated tax. They held little political clout.
Bitcoin-QT reached the number 1 spot on Google Trends for the first time in history.